The Sex Diet | Do you feed your sexual flame?

The Sex Diet | Do you feed your sexual flame?

Sex is just as much a physical need as hunger.

But while it is socially acceptable – and often imperative – to devote time and attention to nutrition, most people neglect to plan their sex diet. Why do we allow ourselves to get sexually starved? And do you feed your sexual flame properly?

New Year’s Eve – at a bar in the center of Athens

“So then he snapped at me: What’s up, Maraki? I’ve been playing with my dick for two weeks now. Is this how it’s gonna be from now on? When we moved in together I didn’t imagine it would equal sexual starvation!”

This improbable line came out of the mouth of one of my best friends on the eve of the new year in a cozy bar in Koukaki. We were already on our third glass of wine and the atmosphere was becoming hotter.

“Wait a sec, Maria!” I interrupted her. “Did I understand correctly? You hadn’t had sex for two weeks?” I could not believe my ears!

Now, I am not in the habit of keeping tabs on the sex patterns of my friends, but last I had heard Maria and her partner were having sex on all horizontal and vertical surfaces of their newly bought apartment. The two of them have been together for 2 years and it’s clear to me that their relationship is explosive. Having been Maria’s friend for the past 22 years, I also know though she is an extremely sexual being even on her own. So, her statement puzzled me.

“You know how I get when I am stressed, Aliki. It’s this damn perfectionism of mine. I had a lot of work, I was traveling like crazy, the apartment was still not fully equipped and I just got into my super-efficient mode. Everything had to get done and done properly. And yes, before I knew it, we hadn’t had sex for two weeks.”

Kinono: the setting for our girls’ sex talk

Sex diet for beginners

At the beginning of a relationship, sex comes easy -if it doesn’t, well, the relationship withers away quickly. What happens after the first year or so depends to a large extent on the sexual needs and compatibility of the people involved. But, strange as it may sound, the long-term sex diet of a relationship also involves a conscious effort.

“Why are there so many Detox Diets, but no Simple 4-weeks Guide to Anal Sex?”

Why not, at the end of the day? Sex is much like hunger: a natural, physical need. Hunger can either be satisfied by a quick pre-packed meal consumed standing above the sink. Or by a well-chosen and mindfully–cooked recipe with the best ingredients you can afford. I am not shaming the first option; sometimes a frozen meal is just necessary. Given a choice, however, I will always prefer the latter.

So why don’t we apply the same diligence we use for nutrition to our sex lives? It is socially acceptable to consult a nutritionist, to go vegetarian or vegan, to follow a paleo-keto- diet. Nobody raises an eyebrow if you plan a molecular gastronomy evening with your partner and friends. So why is it just weird to consult a sex expert, to measure your weekly intake of oral sex or to plan an evening of sex or a sex party with your partner? How does sex get to be an activity squeezed between dishwashing and falling asleep on time?

Consider this:

Plan your sex diet

Everyday life is hectic and demanding; Xander and I feel often overwhelmed. The way I see it, if you are not even willing to counterbalance this with a conscious effort, your natural hunger for sex will get neglected. And then you might find yourself starved.

“So yeah, it baffled me at first but I realized he was right.” Maria concluded, playing with a lock of her blond hair. “And I am telling you, Aliki, I don’t want to go there. I don’t want a relationship without sex. I don’t want to close myself up and hide behind tasks and chores. Fuck, I am glad he woke me up. This is not who I want to be.”

My friend was right. How you behave as a sexual being is an existential question. Why not treat it as one?

Photo credit: pexels.com